The Clock Is Ticking

It’s 4:00 A.M. and I can hear the clock in our bathroom ticking. This five-dollar clock, which is necessary for me to arrive anywhere on time, happens to be rather noisy whenever all else is superbly quiet.

Tick tock.

I lie awake because another clock is ticking – one I cannot hear. But now that I am awake, I can hear the one in the bathroom too.

I started hearing this inner clock when my oldest daughter Simone turned nine. Her ninth birthday marked a sort of “half-way point” for me. Half-way to eighteen. Halfway to college. Halfway to moving away.

Tick tock.

The clock is moving too fast, and I can’t slow it down. There is so much I wish to do for Simone – and with Simone – before she graduates.

There are places I would like to see together.
There are mission trips I would like to take together.
There are talks I would like to have together.
There are memories I would like to create together.

Tick tock.

There is so much I want us to do before time runs out.

And yet, there are other things I wish I could erase from time.
Things I wish I would have done differently.
Things I wish I would have said differently.

The clock is ticking. Much too fast. Simone is sixteen now. Just two years until she graduates. And I worry. Not about her future. But whether I will be able to give her all that I want to give her before the dynamics of our nucleus family change when she leaves for college.

Sixteen birthdays. Sixteen Mother’s Days.

Only two more before she leaves for college.

Tick tock.

I know that I cannot possibly do all that I would like to do, for I happen to dream too big. And my dreams cost more money than we can possibly afford. So there probably won’t be a trip to Europe before she graduates. But there can be other things. Perhaps more important things. Intentional conversations. Intentional memories.

On this Mother’s Day, I am thinking less about the sixteen years that I have been a mom and more about the next two years I will be a mom to a young adult about to graduate.

The clock is ticking, and I want to make every minute count.

10 thoughts on “The Clock Is Ticking

  1. Beautiful, D.J! Yes, the clock ticks much to quickly! I hope you enjoy every moment of every day …and while today lasts, may you receive every blessing you so deserve!
    Happy Mother's Day!

  2. Good Morning and HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to you !! ……I will pray for you as I do for the mothers I know personally and not so personally …..Just remember that motherhood is the hardest yet most rewarding job we will ever perform …. So many of the tasks we have at hand are necessary yet so many are trivial and will not make a difference in the end ….. It would be nice if you could actually get to do all the “to do ” things on your list but what is most important is that your walk with the Lord Jesus grows deeper and wider as your children grow older ….. I will leave with the scripture from the Old Testament that I hold dear to my heart : Numbers 6:24
    ….. Have a Blessed Day …… If you would need some rest come visit me !!

  3. I can totally relate! My daughter is 15 and as much as I want to slow down the clock, it keeps moving forward at a rapid pace. Love what you said about intentional conversations and intentional memories!

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