Milestones in Motherhood

Taken 16 years ago ~ Before digital cameras

We begin charting the milestones early on.

Baby’s first smile.
Baby’s first step.
Baby’s first tooth.

A moment later, that first tooth is gone ~ tucked safely beneath the pillowcase.

Before long, there are more fun firsts.

First photo after the braces are gone.
First time shopping for homecoming.

First real date.

With time, the milestones continue to change. And they feel strange.

There’s the first checking account. The first car.

These days, when my daughter backs out of the driveway, leaving for school on her own, I think back to those first moments, when I kept her bassinet next to my side of the bed. I fell asleep every night with my hand on her belly—just to make sure she was breathing.

It was then that a tender, vacuous ache took up residence. An ache for her to be healthy and whole. An ache for her to make better choices and never know the same pain I have known.

When she was still a baby, I used to wonder if this ache would ever go away.

I’ve learned it doesn’t.

It just changes with time.

I’ve discovered that it’s a beautiful ache, for it means I want more for her. More peace. More joy.

It’s an ache that leads me, every time, to my knees, praying to the only One who loves her more than I.

With each new milestone, each new day, it’s an ache I embrace.

Have you celebrated a milestone with a cherished one lately?

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7

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Today, I’m joining Lisa-Jo, taking 5 minutes to write about “ache.”